Christ himself elevated the natural institution of marriage to the dignity of a sacrament during his public ministry.
He worked his first miracle at a wedding (John 1:2) and he taught that marriage in the New Covenant is permanent and holy (Matthew 19:3-9). The apostles taught on the beauty and significance of marriage throughout the New Testament (1 Peter 3:1-12). St. Paul even taught (Ephesians 5:21-33) on the mystery of the relationship between the members of the Church and Christ the bridegroom as analogous to the relationship between husband and wife in the sacrament of Marriage.
Christian Marriage is a sacrament that orders the husband and wife to serve one another. This service is based on the Christian virtue of charity and is done in a spirit of care and concern for the good of the spouse and child(ren) following the example of Christ. If this sacrament provides grace for salvation to the individual, it is only as a secondary fruit. The principle effect of the grace of the sacrament serves to strengthen the couple’s unity and deepen their love and affection so that their loving service assist them in growing closer to God. The ultimate goal of marriage is the same as Christian life; to respond to God’s grace and be happy with Him in heaven forever.
Made to love… made for family
God is the source of love and so his role in the family is irreplaceable. In fact, “man would not exist were he not created by God’s love and constantly preserved by it.” (Pastoral Constitution on the Church in the Modern World, 19)
The matrimonial covenant, by which a man and a woman establish between themselves a partnership of the whole of life and which is ordered by its nature to the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of offspring, has been raised by Christ the Lord to the dignity of a sacrament between the baptized.
[from the Catechism of the Catholic Church]
Marriage is both a vocation (calling by God) and a sacrament, which makes it doubly blessed and imparts special graces to aid couples.
Because of its covenantal nature, marriage is the only sacrament in which the participants confer it upon each other. In other words, the couple’s exchange of marital vows bestows the sacrament. The priest or deacon is still essential. He is the official witness who represents Christ and the Church.
God himself is the author of marriage (GS 48). The vocation to marriage is written in the very nature of man and woman as they came from the hand of the Creator. Marriage is not a purely human institution. (CCC 1603)
The matrimonial covenant, by which a man and a woman establish between themselves partnership of the whole of life, is by its nature ordered toward the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of offspring; this covenant between baptized persons has been raised by Christ the Lord to the dignity of a sacrament. (CCC 1601)
By its very nature the institution of marriage and married love is ordered to the procreation and education of the offspring and it is in them that it finds its crowning glory. (CCC 1652)
The Marriage Bond
From a valid marriage arise a bond between the spouses which by its very nature is perpetual and exclusive. The consent by which the spouses mutually give and receive one another is sealed by God himself. Thus the marriage bond has been established by God himself.
. . .a marriage. . .between baptized persons can never be dissolved.
(CCC 1638 – 1640)
The Grace of the Sacrament of Matrimony
By this grace they “help one another to attain holiness in their married life and in welcoming and educating their children.”(LG 11, CCC 1641).
Christ dwells with them, gives them the strength to take up their crosses and so follow him, to rise again after they have fallen, to forgive one another, to bear another’s burdens, to “be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ.”
(Eph. 5:21, CCC1642)
Conjugal love involves a totality, in which all the elements of the person enter. . .it demands indissolubility and faithfulness in definitive mutual giving; and it is open to fertility (CCC1643).
You are about to make a life-long commitment of love for one another—a decision which you should approach with great seriousness, as well as joyful hearts. Marriage--the union of two individuals for life--is regarded as a sacrament in the Catholic Church and as with all sacraments, some preparation is needed by both the bride and the groom. This brochure serves as an overview to help you prepare appropriately.
In general, please allow AT LEAST SIX MONTHS in advance of the wedding date for preparation. If one or both of you are under the age of 19, please allow for an additional month or so for professional evaluation. A check list is provided in this brochure to plan ahead.
GETTING STARTED
Call the Rectory to schedule an interview with a priest (both the bride and groom must attend). If there no problems are anticipated, the priest will set your wedding date (see checklist for what to bring), at which time a deposit is required (see Fees) and confirm what other preparation is required.
Once a date has been set, please contact our Wedding Coordinators, Jeanne and Fred Clifford, to schedule participation in Marriage Preparation Classes and Natural Family Planning Classes. A nominal fee is charged for each class and both must be completed 30 days prior to the wedding. Once you have your classes scheduled, please contact our Music Director, to coordinate your music. It is extremely important that you coordinate all aspects of your ceremony with St. Bernard in order to comply with church policy and ensure a successful wedding ceremony.
PLANNING YOUR CEREMONY
Couples may make their ceremony as personal as possible within the guidelines of the Church. It is important to remember the presence of Christ and the Blessed Sacrament in the church. Therefore, the music before, during and after the ceremony should be liturgical (see music), and all members of the wedding party, including the bride, should plan for modest attire (no strapless or off the shoulder gowns or revealing necklines are allowed). To maintain liturgical reverence, please coordinate all arrangements for music, organist, vocalist, video, photography and church flowers in advance with our coordinator and music director (see check list).
Music
The main consultant regarding music selection and musicians is our music director. We do not allow CD's or popular music to be played or sung in the ceremony. Be advised that a fee is required for eachcontracted liturgical musician. Should you contract other musicians (vocalist or instrumentalist), it is required that our music director meet with you to approve music selections and provide rehearsals to help things run smoothly.
Decoration
Rice, flowers, birdseeds, or any other material is not allowed to be thrown. If decorating pews, keep in mind that tape is NOT allowed. Flowers are to be secured with clamps provided by a florist. Runners are allowed and are available through most florists.
If the bride wishes to carry out the colors of the wedding party, she may purchase the arrangements for the Blessed Sacrament Altar from the Altar Society, but those flowers must then remain on the altar. The couple may desire to make additional arrangements for flowers with the Altar Society as desired. Please place the order one or two months before the date of the wedding.
Rehearsal
Please call the rectory to schedule the wedding rehearsal date. During rehearsal, you will need to bring your Marriage License, Unity Candle, and Runner (if used).
CHECK LIST
Six Months Prior to Desired Wedding Date
· Bring recent (within six months) copy of baptismal, Confirmation and Communion certificates to Rectory.
· DO NOT RESERVE A HALL FOR THE RECEPTION UNTIL YOUR WEDDING DATE IS SCHEDULED BY A PRIEST.
· Follow priests instructions for follow up actions required (e.g. confession, 2nd interview, letter from home parish, etc.)
· This allows for ½ hour for preparation and ½ hour for photography following the ceremony.
Donations are appreciated to offset church expenses.
Call the Wedding Coordinator to schedule your mandatory classes for:
· Marriage Preparation (reservations are required well in advance to secure a spot in the class)
· Natural Family Planning
· The fees for vocalist and organist are payable in advance as directed.
Once a wedding date is confirmed, you may reserve a hall for your reception. We are not liable for any cancellation fees if the desired wedding date is not available or possible.
When ordering/planning your wedding attire (and attire of wedding party) keep in mind that it should be modest in design--no strapless or spaghetti-strapped or revealing gowns will be permitted without some type of covering while in the church
Two Months Prior to Confirmed Wedding Date
Confirm reservations with Rectory for scheduled wedding date.
Confirm final music plans (selections, musicians, fees paid, etc.) with Music Director.
Remind wedding party of church's policy of appropriate attire in the church.
Notify friends and family as appropriate of policy regarding no rice or bird seed being thrown after the wedding and pew decorating restrictions (no tape).
Call the Altar Society to order flowers for the altar (if desired) and review fees required.
Obtain a county-issued Marriage License from the County Clerk’s office
Purchase a Unity Candle and holder for use during the ceremony (and runner if desired)
Bring to the Priests the certificates of attendance of the Marriage Preparation and Natural Family Planning Classes. Schedule a rehearsal date.
Notify wedding party of date/time of rehearsal.
Verify transportation & reception plans/reservations.
One Month Prior to Confirmed Wedding Date
Call wedding coordinator to confirm all final plans. Deliver a copy of your marriage license to wedding coordinator.
If desired, wedding programs may be published. Wedding coordinator may be able to suggest ideas
Two Weeks Prior to Wedding
Confirm rehearsal plans (date/time) with wedding party
Remind family and friends regarding church policy on pew decoration and birdseed/rice/flower throwing.
Confirm final plans with Music Director, Photographer, Videographer, Florist
Rehearsal Night
Please bring unity candle, holder, runner to rehearsal.
Since parishioners are in the church 24 hours a day/7 days a week adoring the Blessed Sacrament, we must exhibit reverent behavior inside the church during rehearsal. Please instruct all members of your wedding party to observe proper etiquette in front of the Blessed Sacrament (reverence, modest attire, no disruptive behavior, gum chewing, food, or drink).
To minimize disruption, rehearsal is reviewed in front of the church first and then we enter the church if still possible to perform the rehearsal (please be sure to arrive promptly to prevent running into a scheduled Mass).
Wedding Day
Wedding party must arrive 30 minutes prior to wedding to insure prompt start time as weddings are scheduled 2 hours apart.
Bring marriage license.
Enjoy God's blessing on your marriage. . .
The marriage bond: From a valid marriage arise a bond between the spouses which by its very nature is perpetual and exclusive. The consent by which the spouses mutually give and receive one another is sealed by God himself. Thus the marriage bond has been established by God Himself. . .a marriage. . .between baptized persons can never be dissolved. (CCC 1638-1640) Christ dwells with them, gives them the strength to take up their crosses and so follow him, to rise again after they have fallen, to forgive one another, to bear another's burdens, to "be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ."
(Eph. 5:21, CCC 1642)